Communication Strategies

When mere words fail to express unbearably deep feelings, a mixtape composed of songs suffice.
This essay shall tackle a mixtape sampling of three Beatles songs and relate it to the Relationship Developmental Theory Social Penetration Theory. It is the aim of this essay to look into the lyrics of three songs and to see how they reflect the different stages and principles of the Social Penetration Theory. The real-life artifact, a mixtape, lays the foundation for a better understanding of this important communication theory.

The real life artifact is a mixtape comprised of three Beatles songs From Me to You, Help, and We Can Work It Out. The first song is an expression of the persons willingness to be available and open to the other person. It embodies the desire to offer ones self time and emotions, to satisfy the others needs. (If theres anything that you want if theres anything I can do Just call on me and Ill send it along with love, from me to you). The second song, Help, is more expressive of the persons vulnerability. It is an admission of how incomplete and inadequate one feels without the others presence, both physical and emotional. (But every now and then I feel so insecure I know that I just need you like Ive never done before). The third song, We Can Work It Out, expresses how the communication between the two individuals is a product of compromise and mutual understanding. Both individuals must be able to give and receive freely and openly so that the communication can flow and deepen between them. There is a recognition that both must work on the communication otherwise, there will be a breakdown in the exchange resulting in a failure in the relationship. (Think of what youre saying,you can get it wrong and still think that its all right Think of what Im saying we can work it out and get it straight or say goodnight.) These three songs reflect some of the key stages of social penetration as the relationship develops and deepens.

The Social Penetration Theory was developed by Altman and Taylor in 1973. The theory posited that each individuals personality is made up of different layers, in the same way that an onion is made of different layers. When two individuals communicate, the kinds of information and emotion they share are dependent on the layers of personality that they are comfortable sharing and exchanging from the most obvious to the most intimate. There are five major stages in the penetration, with each level of disclosure more intimate than the last
Orientation stage, characterized by general exchanges and small talk Exploratory affective stage, characterized by disclosure of opinions regarding certain topics, Affective stage, characterized by exchanges of private matters and intimate details, Stable stage, at this point, the relationship has reached a level of stability such that the other can predict the reaction of the other, and Depenetration, when the costs of the relationship outweigh the benefits, there is a withdrawal of the disclosure and the relationship is terminated. (cited in www.changingminds.org, 2010)

Social penetration theory also took into consideration the two aspects of each layer, depth and breadth. These two aspects were described and distinguished as Breadth is the array or variety of topics that have been incorporated into individuals lives. Depth is the amount of information available on each topic. On the outermost shell are highly visible levels of information such dress and speech.(cited in  HYPERLINK httpwww.uky.edu.com www.uky.edu.com).

From the perspective of the social penetration theory, the song choices in a mixtape can help guage the level of disclosure that two individuals are comfortable in exchanging. As the relationship deepens through shared thoughts and feelings, layers of themselves are exposed, making the bond of the intimacy stronger. However, when there comes a point that the relationship is no longer beneficial or healthy for one or both parties, the disclosures are withdrawn, the communication breaks down, and the relationship ends.